this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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