the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
