I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
