So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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