i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
