Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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