Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
