How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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