it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
