The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
