I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
