Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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