Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
someone owes me an orgasm
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
