I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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