I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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