apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
