i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Every concussion has its silver lining
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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