Don't make out with my wife yet
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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