Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize