Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Nicole vs. Life
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Pants are for mortals
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
