New invention idea: vibrating tampons
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
