Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize