Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
