I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
