lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
