well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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