I bet he comes in French.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
