In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
