Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
