I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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