they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
