3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you would pick up someone in the library
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
