Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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