I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
