i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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