Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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