I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
