yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
