You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
