It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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