I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize