Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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