Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
