I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
