it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i think my cat just said my name.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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