i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Small penises have feelings too.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
