A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
