dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
