I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
