Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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