We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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