There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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