Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize