Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it's like heaven, but drunker
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
