you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
