She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
