If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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