Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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