it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
