I am puke
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
