I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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