She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
