I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
