FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
