so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
