First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
