You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
