all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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