i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I came so hard my ears popped.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
